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Roula Khalaf, Editor of the FT, selects her favourite stories in this weekly newsletter.
On a recent stay at a hotel in Spain, I experienced a rude awakening — in both senses of the word “rude”. As I was sitting enjoying a classic buffet dinner featuring all sorts of food items that should never be seen together, a man and his son came and sat down at the table next to me. No sooner had they done so than the boy (about 12, I reckon) had taken out his iPhone, propped it against an olive oil bottle, and proceeded to watch a Russian TV programme on full blast while shovelling food into his mouth. Opposite him, his father tucked into his own assiette of culinary non sequiturs, happy as Larry.
What struck me was not just the impoliteness of it all — of the two of them towards me and other diners; of the boy towards his father (who, to be honest, didn’t seem to mind). It was the fact that this grown man did not seem to expect anyone else to care. He showed not the slightest hint of embarrassment at his son’s behaviour. He seemed utterly impervious to my disapproving glares (I tried to step up the obviousness, duration and frequency, to no avail). But then I noticed I was the only one in the restaurant glaring at them anyway. Everyone else seemed to be happily minding their own business. A nasty feeling came over me: is this a “me problem”?
Clearly, nobody was particularly shocked. And after all, why would they be? In London, at least, it is hard to make a journey on public transport these days without being subjected to the tinny, ear-grating sound of someone else’s smartphone speaker — usually several at once. It is wise to travel with the expectation of hearing a cacophony of social media clips, YouTube videos, noisy phone games, music and even video calls with loved ones on full volume.
No, it seems the taboo (that important guardian of social norms) around using a smartphone without headphones has all but evaporated. And the stats back this up: an Ofcom survey from 2022 found that 46 per cent of all British adults and 83 per cent of 13 to 17-year-olds had watched videos in public without earphones. (In the four years since, I have noticed a definite rise in this behaviour, so these figures are probably an underestimate.) In Ireland, the problem is so acute that the national rail operator has introduced a €100 fine for it.
We even have some new lexical suggestions to describe this irritating phenomenon: “loudcasting”, “sodcasting” and “bare beating” seem to be the preferred terms in Britain, though my personal favourite comes from the US: “blasterbating”, which reinforces the idea that doing it in public is unacceptable. Rather fewer Americans admit to the practice than Brits — 35 per cent, according to a 2024 survey by audio firm JBL — but then Americans spend far more time in their cars and far less on public transport, so there is less opportunity. And 58 per cent still consider blasterbation a “public crisis”.
Even if it isn’t just a me problem, though, it is always possible to stop finding something annoying by changing one’s attitude. As I watched the boy and his father over the following days, always with the same set-up, I started to feel a certain tenderness towards them. The man would frequently chat to his son as he watched his TV show, and the boy would always reply nicely. Yes, his eyes usually remained stuck to the screen, but here was a dad taking his kid on holiday and letting him enjoy himself — that seemed good.
But while my irritation with them faded, my sense that our public spaces are being degraded by a hyper-individualistic culture that has lost its sense of community did not. We all go around in our own little technology bubbles, doomscrolling through X, envyscrolling through Instagram, and keeping ourselves away from the uncomfortable possibilities of boredom, deep reflection, or — God forbid — a conversation with a stranger.
I don’t think people are necessarily becoming more selfish, but it does feel we are all becoming more insular; my guess is that if you asked someone playing a video loudly why they thought it was acceptable, they would tell you everyone else is doing the same thing. And if they are not, they can just listen to something else on their own headphones.
We get freedom wrong when we imagine it requires stripping away any kind of manners or etiquette. What about the freedom to enjoy getting lost in a book without being subjected to an onslaught of algorithmic slop? We can forgive the blasterbators; it is possible they know not what they do. But we should not be afraid to tell them to plug in their blasted headphones. Or, crazy thought, put their phones away entirely.
