Re your article on travel etiquette (The ultimate guide to travel etiquette: how to handle 36 tricky situations, from manspreaders to smelly armpits, 4 August), it’s totally wrong to advise people not to give up seats for a woman any more. Women could be menstruating, in the first trimester of pregnancy (the most exhausting time, and not one you advertise with badges saying “Baby on board”), perimenopausal, menopausal or have endometriosis (excruciating pain). Women live with a level of pain and discomfort as routine, for much of their lives. Yes, of course men can be suffering with specific ailments at specific times, but it is not part and parcel of being a man. Gentlemen, please just do it.
Helen Walker
London
To your list of dubious travel behaviours, I’d like to add constant sniffing and its more guttural and nauseating relation, snorting. It seems that handkerchiefs, tissues and even the concept of blowing your nose have gone out of fashion. I am frequently nauseated by this on planes and trains, and if I don’t have headphones with me I have to resort to blocking my ears. I have not yet had the courage to speak to a culprit (although I have often been tempted to pass them a tissue).
Judith Milburn
Hartlepool, County Durham
I enjoyed your guide to travel etiquette. It was very sensible and reflective of our modern society. I had to smile at the guidance for offering your seat to elderly people – as a man in my mid-50s who is (happily) fit and healthy, I always have to remind myself that people offering me a seat aren’t commenting on my physical state, they are just being kind to a stranger.
Given the increasing incidence of harassment on public transport, particularly of women, it might be helpful to give some guidance as to what to do if you see someone being harassed – that’s a tricky balance of ensuring the safety of yourself and those around you, but it is (sadly) a reflection of the times.
However, you didn’t go into enough detail about one of my biggest bugbears – people who insist on keeping their backpacks on on crowded buses and tubes where standing space is at a premium. It’s frustrating, and occasionally very problematic, when people aren’t aware that the space they’re taking up by keeping the backpack on is much larger than their unencumbered body. As they move or turn they bump into whatever you’re holding, and it reduces the opportunity for others to join the service.
It’s a simple rule: take the backpack off and have it at your feet – always – to avoid encroaching on other people’s personal space and to free up space for others. Or maybe my middle-aged grumpiness is just getting the better of me on this one.
Peter Antolik
London
Recently, after a three day-visit to London, I returned home to Devon and jokingly complained that Londoners constantly made me feel old. Every journey I made on public transport, someone offered me a seat. On two occasions a woman offered me a helping hand as I descended the stairs on a bus. I am a six-foot, healthy 80-year-old and can easily manage to stand for a short journey but, as my wife pointed out, it is much nicer to smile and accept the offers. On another bus, a woman offered to move so that my wife and I could sit together. In conclusion, I felt I should point out that Londoners, in my experience, do not really need much of your advice. They already have an embarrassment of politeness riches and made me feel much happier about the human race.
Paul Wesley
Totnes, Devon
